Great Children's Books by Local Author!

                 

                        It Was a Wild Ride, Even for Clyde!

 My Mom Thinks I'm a Quack Because I Quack!

                          

Hello and Happy Tuesday!

I wanted to introduce you all to a couple of children's books!

My Mom Thinks I'm a Quack Because I Quack! has a good message on individuality, and It Was a Wild Ride Even for Clyde! is a great reminder of how important it is to listen to Mom! Both of these books are by local author, Brent Paape. I'm happy to have these as part of my collection of awesome resources!  Click on the links above to view and order from Amazon. Enjoy!

-Jessica

You Are Stronger Than You Think! (Psychology Today article)

Hello There!

I read this on the Psychology Today website, and thought it had some really good points. So, I thought I'd share this with you all as it surely applies to so many of us.  

Jessica

Why You're Stronger Than You Think

.. and how you can prove it to yourself.

Post published by Amy Morin on Apr 07, 2015 in What Mentally Strong People Don't Do

Source:  Stuart Monk/Shutterstock

Whether you think you can’t handle being rejected by a love interest, or you’re convinced you can't deal with the uncertainty and discomfort associated with making a career change, second guessing your ability to tolerate distress will only hold you back in life.

In fact, the more you doubt your mental strength, the more important it is for you to prove to yourself that you're stronger than you know.

Allowing exaggeratedly negative self-talk to dictate your behavior will prevent you from reaching your potential. Just because you think you're not mentally strong enough to do or handle something doesn’t mean it’s true: You’re likely able to tolerate much more than you think. 

The Mental Strength to Handle Discomfort

Choosing to avoid uncomfortable feelings offers immediate short-term relief, but avoidance can have long-term consequences:

• If you think, “I can’t stand being hungry,” you may eat to avoid the possibility that you’ll experience hunger, grabbing an extra snack before you head out of the house, or stopping to pick up an extra bite to eat before your commute home. Even when you don’t feel hungry, you may decide not to take any chances and eat as a preventative measure. Eventually, your waistline may suffer the consequences.
• Thinking, “I can’t deal with my job any longer,” will cause you to exaggerate your inability to tolerate stress. You may waste your evenings dreading going to work and spend your workday complaining about your stress level. As a result, you'll inadvertently increase your stress and reinforce to yourself that you're just not strong enough to handle it. Eventually, you'll likely quit—not because you really wanted to, but because you convinced yourself you weren't strong enough to handle the job.
• When you think, “I can’t give a presentation to the whole company,” it reinforces to you that you can't tolerate discomfort. Avoiding a public speaking opportunity, simply because you don't want to deal with your fear, embarrassment, or discomfort could prevent you from establishing yourself as an authority or getting a promotion.

Why Believing Your Self-Doubt is a Bad Idea

Just because you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean you need to give up right away. Prove to yourself that you're strong enough to tolerate more than you think:

• Thinking you can’t stand something influences how you feel. You’re likely to feel a sense of dread, anxiety, or even anger as you approach something you think you can’t tolerate. As you experience more negative emotions, your thoughts can become exaggeratedly negative, creating a cycle of self-doubt.
• You'll struggle to reach your goals. Quitting because you don't want to be uncomfortable will prevent you from growing. The greatest things in life tend to happen outside our comfort zones. Doubting your ability to step outside of yours will keep you stuck. 
• Giving up can become a habit. Quitting every time you face a new challenge can change how you view yourself. You may begin to believe that you’re weak or a failure because you can’t seem to stick with things long enough to see positive results.

When you think you're not strong enough, prove yourself wrong. If you think you can’t stand something for one more minute, stick around for two minutes just to prove to yourself that you can do it. If you think you can’t stand one more week at the office, resolve to work at least two more weeks. Make a conscious decision that you won’t allow negative thoughts to limit your potential.

This doesn’t mean you need to work at a job you hate for 30 years just to prove you can, but by working one day longer than you thought you could, you can prove to yourself that you’re mentally stronger than you gave yourself credit for. If and when you do choose to quit, then it will be on your terms, reflecting a decision based on a choice to improve your life, not made because you had to run away from uncomfortable feelings.

Source: Fotolia.com

Conduct behavioral experiments that prove your self-doubt wrong and eventually, you'll change the way you think. You’ll begin to see that you have more mental strength than you ever imagined. You’ll be less likely to think about all the things you can't do, and more likely to recognize all the choices you have when you're your strongest and best self.

Adolescents

Today's blog is inspired both by my professional and personal aspects on the subject. 

This past Saturday, we had our spring state MTASC meeting here in Charleston, and after the meeting a CMTE course was offered, entitled,  I Write the Songs = Songwriting in/as Music Therapy.  I write a good bit of songs, both professionally and personally, and don't always see eye to eye with some of the concepts taught in some other similar workshops I have attended.  However, I have to say that this CMTE course was great.  Thank you, thank you, Tracy Richardson, for your insights! 

Anyhow, at one point, Tracy divided us into groups for group songwriting for a (hypothetical) group of 6 adolescent boys, ages 12-14 years old within a psychiatric setting.  We were only to write 1 verse and the chorus (we didn't have time to write a whole song).  One thing that seems to be consistent with any adolescent (whether "typical" or in a facility/with disorder) seems to be a need for understanding and a need for self expression.  How many times have you heard a teenager say, "No one understands me!"  (???) So our group goal for this song was: To facilitate opportunity for self expression.  Here is the song portion we wrote:

"No one understands,
 No one understands
 I feel so alone,
 I need a voice of my own.

 I have so many "friends"
 are they really friends?
 Many people surround me,
 do they really see ME?"

In a session, this could really go a long way to giving someone a way to voice this ... well, to give him/her a voice.  It would be great way lead in to an activity to allow opportunity to highlight individuality (increase self image/esteem).  First (1) express this feeling of not being understood, and then (2) allowing an opporunity to be understood by expressing self, strengths/opinions, thoughts/ideas.

So, that's the professional aspect.

The personal aspect I have on this is that I have a teenager which results in teenage friends and neighbors who congregate in my house.  My sweet niece (who is my child's bf) made an amazingly insightful post on Facebook yesterday that really caught my attention.  It's related to what is mentioned above, I think.  She is a naturally confident girl who likes herself, and is not afraid to be herself.  I greatly admire that about her, especially considering her age.  She gave voice to what, most likely, every one her age feels.

This was her FB posting:
"Why is it so hard to be yourself in today's society? You dress how people want, talk like people want, and be what people what you to be. Why can't I just be me?"

Wow. 

Anyone who knows me won't be at all surprised at the way that I answered this ... with a Dr. Suess quote, of course! :)

 no matter how people try, no1 can ever be good at being anyone else but themselves. a famous philosopher once said (ok, so it was Dr. Seuss) :

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ... He also said,
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."

... good stuff. Anybody who you truely admire is someone who is being themselves.

Jessica

"... all the colors I am inside ... "

COLORS
My skin is kind of sort of brownish,
Pinkish yellowish white.
My eyes are greyish blueish green,
But I'm told they look orange in the night.
My hair is reddish blondish brown,
But it's silver when it's wet.
And all the colors I am inside
Have not been invented yet.
- Shel Silverstein

I got out my old treasured book, Where the Sidewalk Ends, again today. It always brings a smile, and I can't tell you how much my clients enjoy many of these poems. I've been reading this book since I was in elementary school, and it still catches my attention and my smiles. I remember finding this book in my elementary school library and falling in love with it as a little girl. I also remember getting in trouble with the library for failure to turn the book in in a timely manner. Don't worry, the book I have now was bought honestly ... not stolen from my elementary school library!

I've just come across another poem in the book that prompted a new activity idea. The poem is called Spaghetti. I have a couple clients in mind (in particular) for this activity, and look forward to implementing it. This activity will have the potential to provide work in these goal areas:

- Increasing visual attention (pictures in a cognitive task)
- Increasing/facilitating eye contact
- Increasing cognitive attention/skill
(pre-reading/reading skill & matching words to pictures)
- Increase/facilitate auditory attention and follow auditory cues
- Identification of emotions/appropriate affect
- Increase fine motor skill

I am planning on posting the activity (as it's one that can fairly easily be implemented outside of therapy) in my August 2009 newsletter. I'm a bit behind on posting this month's newsletter (to my website) due to this month's schedule, but still plan on posting one. I will let you know when I do. I think you will enjoy the Spaghetti activity!

Jessica