Kids and Holiday Stress

Kids and Holiday Stress ...
The article below is one I found through my LinkedIn profile, and I thought it has some great points which may go a long way in helping you to keep your kids stress free duirng the holidays.  This article was posted on Wellspring™ (http://www.wellspring.com/).  Wellspring™ was created in response to the growing need for effective treatments for children with autism-spectrum disorders, behavior disorders and developmental disabilities.

Helping kids cope during the holidays
Wellspring™

It’s that time again. Halloween decorations have come down, retailers are preparing for Thanksgiving which means only one thing……holiday shopping season is upon us. As behavior professionals, one of the single most questions we get asked is about kids’ behaviors at holiday time. Keeping kids well-behaved during the holiday season is every parents dream. However, it is not a goal that is achieved easily.
Even the best-behaved child can have a meltdown at this time of year. Holidays cultivate many stressors that may cause a child to erupt: Absence of routine, over stimulation, being away from home and one important one that many of us may overlook – parent stress. Kids are very tuned into their parents’ mood and when they sense you are stressed, they can get extremely overwhelmed. They need you to stay grounded and when you aren’t, their behavior may show it. So, how do we stay calm and keep our kids calm when we have 37 gifts to buy at 16 different stores and holiday meals to cook and 12-hour trips to take? Read on for tips that can help every parent help their child cope during the stress of the holiday season using positive behavioral support.

SHOPPING!
Shopping with a child can be a nightmare but it doesn’t have to be.
Our number one recommendation for parents is to shop online or leave the kids at home. Unfortunately, this isn’t always a realistic expectation. If you do have to take your children shopping, make sure they are prepared for the situation and make sure you go with realistic expectations:

Explain to them what you are going to be doing and where you are going. Tell them when you will eat, or when they will be able to play.

Be specific about what behavior is expected. Being a good boy or girl is too vague. For example, “we are going to a place where we will have to walk and stay close to mommy and we will have to use an inside voice”. Always tell them what TO do instead of what NOT to do. Providing them with the tools to behave makes life easier.

The mall is boring, overwhelming and confining and children don’t like to stand in line, be quiet or be still. Allow your child some time to run around between stores.
Provide incentives for your child to receive when the shopping is done, such as a trip to the park or an ice cream. When a desired activity follows an undesired activity, a child’s motivation to behave is increased.

Look for the signs that your child may be unraveling. Validate their feelings and needs and remind them of the expected behavior and reward. For example “I know you are getting mad but if you use a quiet voice and remain standing you can earn your treat”. One warning is appropriate but if your child does not stop what he is doing, you may need to leave whatever you are doing.

Always provide praise for good behaviors. We parents focus too much on scolding or punishing our kids when a bad behavior occurs but we forget to reward the good ones. Catch them being good. If your child is standing patiently in line, even for a few seconds, use it as an opportunity to praise him for the good behavior.

Do not plan on going to the mall at rush hours, or the day before Christmas. Avoid overcrowded places as much as possible.

Feed your kids before going out. A hungry child is a recipe for disaster.

Be sure your kids are not tired. Taking them to the mall after a nap is always easier.

And finally, be prepared for a meltdown. If you have a plan of action if the dreaded does occur, it will help you and your child remain calm during the situation. Next week we’ll cover what to do if a tantrum does occur.


For more good tips from Wellspring™, visit http://www.wellspring.com/ .

Jessica